Child Development | My Youth

Single Parents and Kids

The job of parenting is a tedious one and those that engage in it will eagerly agree to this submission. The same thing applies even when there is a father and a mother. Thus, you can picture the scenario in which there is a single parent that has to cater for the kids. One may be a single parent for many reasons, and some of these reasons include the demise of the other partner, divorce and some weird individuals decide to be single parents out of their own volition.

Irrespective of the reasons behind your own case of single parenthood, one thing that you can be sure of is the fact that you will also experience the rigor of parenthood. But luckily enough, there are measures that have been put in place to make life easier.

If you are a single mom and you also have a career in the office, you can simplify your program by securing the services of a nurse or day care owners to take care of your kids while you eke out a living. In a situation where you have neighbors that can do this for you, that will be great. But, it is important for you to carve out some time out of your very busy schedule and spend with them. Staying closer to your children instead of leaving everything to the nannies will help you know more of your children’s needs thus allowing you to attend promptly to them.

A single parent has to have a strong and positive character in order to cope with the numerous challenges of life, especially in relation to parenthood. You also have to possess patience, tact and perseverance while raising those kids.

Filed Under: Child Development, Parenting Tagged With: Day care, Family, parents, Single-parent

Coping With Teenagers

As a parent, one of the most troublesome and stressful jobs that you can take is to raise your own children. Over the years, you bring them up in the best of manners and cater for them to the best of your ability. However, when the children are in their teenage years, you have another set of challenges to face. Teenagers are not easy to deal with, and this is true even if they are your offsprings.

What makes living with teenagers strenuous is the fact that they feel they are grown and try to assert their newly-found ‘independence’. This they do in various styles and forms. Some may decide to stop eating a meal they have been consuming for years while some of others take the more radical route of defiance.

As a parent, it is tempting to get angry and blow hot. However, this only complicates the whole issue. To cope and live harmoniously with your teenage children, you need to see the world from their own perspective. You will agree that the way a man in his 40s will look at the world will be vastly different from the way his daughter of fifteen would. Thus, it is important that you understand their pattern of thinking instead of asserting your authority angrily at every opportunity. You need to listen to them, reason with them and converse with them.

However, in as much as you may want to strike up a nice rapport, that does not mean that you have to give them too much latitude. You need to rein them in and even discipline them when necessary. Thus, it is all about balance and equilibrium. You have to give them space when needed or confined in a corner, it all depends on their circumstances. But, irrespective of the decision you make, it is important that you listen to their voices as well.

Filed Under: Child Development, Parenting Tagged With: Adolescence, Child, Family, Parent

Make the Most of Your Time Together

A generation ago, it was common that mom stayed at home, so she was there to hold the family together. Now, with both parents working outside the home in most cases families face a new challenge, that of having enough time together as a family in order to keep the family together as a family. It takes special effort to insure that everyone stays connected together.

One of the things that are required to make this work is an understanding of just how important your family is. Millions of children across the country are suffering because of the disintegration of the family. I’m not talking about single parent homes, I’m talking about homes where everyone lives under the same roof, but is so busy that their interaction with each other consists of the absolute minimum level of communication.

Faced with this problem what most families need to do is re-evaluate their priorities, and eliminate activities that don’t benefit the family as a whole. Friday night bowling league isn’t as important as your family, so might need to be sacrificed in order to do some activity together.

Sitting in front of the television doesn’t qualify as time together, either. Television has to be the loneliest activity known to mankind. You can be in a room filled with people, all watching some mindless program on television and have as much interaction and communication as if you were sitting in the room all by yourself.

When scheduling pressures make time together minimal, that time must be well spent. Activities which require communication, participation and interaction are an essential part of the expressions of love which we all need to survive. Our children need to tell us about their day, play a game with mom and dad and even wrestle on the living room floor. That’s making good use of your time together. While those activities may not seem important to you as an adult; to your child, they are the glue that holds you all together.

Filed Under: Child Development, Parenting Tagged With: Child, Family, Single-parent

Each One an Individual

When one has twins, especially identical twins, it is so easy to think of them as being the same. After all, they look alike, so shouldn’t they be alike? Is the thought in many of our minds; but no, they are each individuals. While they might share much in common like any siblings do, they still have unique personalities, gifts and abilities.

As with any child, the great challenge for the parents is to try and discover what each child’s individual gifts and abilities are. That way, we can help them develop those abilities into something which they can utilize to succeed in their lives. I’d have to say that this challenge can be harder with twins, as they typically do a lot of things together and can even blend their personalities to make it appear that they are the same.

Don’t be fooled by that, there is always one twin who is dominant, and what you are seeing is that twin’s personality being mirrored in the other. You may have to look closely to see that other child’s personality, and may even have to separate them for a bit, in order to have it come out more obviously.

While many mothers like to dress their twins alike, you’re actually defeating your own purpose in doing that. Oh, it looks cute, but it doesn’t help bring forth each child’s individuality. You want those twins to discover who they are, not just as part of a pair, but as individuals. So, anything that can be done to help show their differences is actually more of a help.

As your twins grow, these differences will become more acute if you let them. Watch out for the problem of the dominant child controlling the other one. Otherwise, they may never fully develop into all that they can be. Instead, they may live their whole life under the shadow of their dominant sibling.

Filed Under: Child Development, Parenting Tagged With: Child, Multiple birth, Twin

Homework Time is Quality Time

Many parents complain about the necessity of helping their children with their homework. I don’t know if they feel like they’re being kept after school, or given extra work for misbehaving at work. Whatever it is, all too many react as if it’s a punishment for them as parents to take part in their children’s work. It’s as if they see their children robbing their time from some other important activity, not taking into account the importance of using that time for their kids.

I’d like to suggest to you that helping your kids with their homework isn’t any form of punishment, but rather an opportunity to spend some quality time with your kids. There’s been lots of talk about “quality time” in the last 20 or 30 years, but most of it has been really vague, without a whole lot of specific direction in how to fit that quality time into everybody’s busy schedule.

If the most important thing in your child’s growing years is their education, than wouldn’t it follow that your quality time with them fit in with that important part of their lives? Actually, helping them with their homework is a great way of motivating them in their schoolwork; at the same time you are showing them that they are important to you. You might even have fun working on some projects together. That doesn’t mean do it for them, I hope you understand. But, helping them with ideas, showing them how to do things and correcting their mistakes isn’t doing their work for them.

Some of my best times with my dad were when he helped me with science projects and making things I needed for history projects. Those are some of my strongest and best childhood memories; not the places we went together or the fun we had in those places, but when he helped me work on projects for school. What kinds of memories can you build with your children, helping them with their homework?

Filed Under: Child Development, Education Tagged With: Child, Homework, Quality time

Maintaining Peace Across Age Boundaries

Any time you have children with a great difference in ages, you can count on there being problems between your kids. Older children tend to make fun of younger ones, specifically their immaturity; making a point to forget that they were that immature a few short years earlier.

It is important to understand that humans are competitive by nature. The teasing and put-downs you see your children doing to each other is part of that competition. While it isn’t a very mature way to compete, many think that they look better when they show that others aren’t as good as you. This isn’t a problem limited only to children, either. Politicians are famous for this same sort of competition.

Nevertheless, younger children tend to look up to their older siblings. They are jealous of the rights and privileges these older children have, and can’t understand why they aren’t treated the same. At the same time, the older children want to maintain the difference between what they are allowed to do and what their younger brothers and sisters can. Once again, it makes them feel like they are more mature.

All too often, parents are trapped into the role of being peacemakers, reacting to whatever the latest crisis is between the older and younger children. The only ways out of this trap are to let the children kill each other (normally not a good option) or become proactive about the situation.

Teaching children to be loving and nurturing to their siblings can be just about as hard as teaching a pig to whistle, but it’s not impossible. You can teach older children to care about and care for their younger brothers and sisters. It helps to paint them in the role of protector, guide and mentor. Of course, there is the risk of them guiding and teaching the younger how to get in trouble, but if you’ve trained them right, they shouldn’t be doing this themselves. Let them help their younger siblings and they will suddenly feel more mature, virtually eliminating the competition.

Filed Under: Child Development, Parenting Tagged With: Competition, Parent, Sibling

The Importance of Your Children’s Education

You may not realize it, but your children have a job. They get up every morning; get ready and go to the office, just like mom and dad do. The only difference is that their office is a classroom; their work is learning, and their boss is their teacher. This “work” that they do every day is part of their preparation for the adult life they will one day live.

There is nothing more important for your children to do than to learn. Likewise, there is nothing more important for you to do for your children, then to help them learn; not only learn, but be good students and learn well.

There are a number of important factors involved in your children getting a good education. Amongst them is one that is largely ignored, which is parental involvement. It doesn’t matter how good the teachers are, whether the school has the latest equipment or how much money the school has to spend, if the parents are not both supportive of the school and supportive of their children, those children are not going to learn.

Almost every child who has problems in school does so because of problems at home. While your home life may not be a shambles, if your children are insecure, feel unloved, or think that you aren’t interested in their schoolwork, it will reflect in their grades. Additionally, children whose parents don’t motivate them tend to avoid doing their homework, which causes their grades to suffer.

It is helpful to think of the parents as the child’s educational cheerleader. They need you there on the sidelines, cheering them on, so that they can do their best. Without that motivation, they’re all too likely to drop the ball and end up sitting on the bench. Make a habit of asking them about their school; what they are studying, what interesting tidbit they’ve learned, whether they understand it. Look over their homework and especially their graded homework. Let them know you are interested, and they will be more likely to be interested as well.

Filed Under: Child Development, Education Tagged With: Child, Learning, School

Is Your Teen Addicted to the Internet

Internet addiction is real and it is becoming alarmingly prevalent among teens and pre-teens. Every addiction is harmful. Internet addiction is no exception. According to psychologists, internet addiction is an impulse disorder with the same social consequences as drug addiction, alcoholism, and gambling.

Today’s teens and pre-teens have grown up with technology at their fingertips. While this has afforded them amazing opportunities, it can also impede their future. Addiction to the internet prevents teens from developing interpersonal social skills at a formative time in the lives. This deficit can have long last consequences in later years.

So how can you tell if your teen or pre-teen is addicted to the internet? According to the Computer/Internet Addiction Services (ICA) company based in Redmond, Washington, the following are warning signs of computer/internet addiction:

Teen spends increased amount of time on the internet.
Teen cannot control his/her access to the internet.
Teen seems euphoric or happier only when using the computer and internet.
Teen neglects friends and family.
Teen is agitated when not on the computer or internet.
Teen lies about how much time they spend on the internet.
Computer and internet use interferes with school, chores, and family life. Increased absences from school maybe a sign that your teen is staying home to use the internet.
Teen feels guilty or depressed about their computer use.
Teen experiences physical changes, such as weight gain or loss, headaches or backaches from excessive computer use.
Teen’s sleep pattern changes.
Teen withdraws from activities they used to enjoy. For instance, teen stops participating in sports, or engaging in hobbies.

According to ICA, if your teen meets three or four of the above criteria, they have serious issues with their use of the computer. If your teen meets five or more, they are addicted.

Filed Under: Child Development Tagged With: Internet addiction disorder

Children and Lying

Children lie. Maybe they are not being truthful about who ate the last cookie, maybe they are denying that were riding their bike out of the neighborhood, or maybe they shrug their shoulders when asked what happened to the dish you found in the trash. Children lie for a number of reasons. As parents, it is our job to not only to teach our children that lying is wrong, but to create an atmosphere where telling the truth is the best option.

Children lie most often to get out of trouble. Too often parents unwittingly set the stage that encourages the child to lie. The number one mistake the parents make when confronting a child about lying, is not being truthful themselves.

Don’t trap the child so he or she has no choice but to lie. For example, if you see your child deliberately break something. Don’t ask the child if he broke it. You know that he did. Let him know you saw him break the item and then ask him to tell you in his words how it happened. The key, child psychologists say, is to find out the emotions behind the behavior and then show the child more acceptable ways to handle the emotion.

So, what should a parent do? Here are four basic steps to build an atmosphere where telling the truth becomes the best option.

Clearly communicate the difference between truth and fiction. Incorporate this lesson repeatedly in different situations when your child’s honesty is not in question.
Show your child how telling a lie affects others. Children need to learn that their actions impact others and how others see them.
Work with your child to develop alternative ways of handling difficult situations, so they won’t feel they have to lie.
Model the behavior you want from your child.

All children have lied, but not all children grow up to be liars. It is up to us, the parents, to show them the way to truth.

Filed Under: Child Development Tagged With: Child, Parent